Lyrics From The Mock-U-Musical BOMBED A LOT! ©
Lyrics By Bill Fagan********************************************Music By Jeff Scott
*Copyright to all lyrics and music owned exclusively by Mayday Productions. 
No unauthorized use or reproduction of these lyrics is allowed unless given
by express written agreement from either the lyricist or composer named above.


ACT  I 
ACT II
 

THE QUEEN OF MEAN CUISINE

(SUNG BY: Company)



(COMPANY)
She smells of witch hazel and gross gangrene,
It's fun to dress like her for Halloween,
She's got an iron face to match her will,
She likes kick-boxing when she needs to chill,
But nothing thrills her like a fresh kill,
She's the Queen of Mean Cuisine!

(JANE: Spoken)
"Finger nails go out to there,"

(ALICE: Spoken)
"Man that chick's got scary hair,"

(ALLEN: Spoken)
"She's as evil as a viper,"

(TOM: Spoken)
"Mood swings like a windshield wiper,"

(ELIZABETH: Spoken)
"She gives me the screaming nasties,"

(JACK: Spoken)
"Too many tucks,"

(JANE: Spoken)
"And rhinoplasties,"

(ALICE: Spoken)
"She breathes fire with every word,"

(ALLEN: Spoken)
"She even gave the Pope the bird,"

(ALL)
She was by Nostradamos long-fore-seen,
She's the Queen of Mean Cuisine!

(Dance break.)

(ALL)
She entered menopause at age nineteen,
She was recalled for a defective gene,
She's got her own autobiography,
A Nazi thriller she calls "Mein Cafe",
She'll beat your legs 'til they are al dente,

She's the Queen - of - Mean - Cuisine!

END SONG: